My Story

The Dark Night of the Soul phases that I’ve been going through continuously in the earlier parts of my discipline were predominantly focused on healing deep wounds and gaining insight, awareness and freedom with each passing stage. The issues we have come in layers and I’ve mentioned this somewhere in a previous post so I’ll move on to what I want to talk about today. Continue reading

Moments of Clarity – Autumnal Blues

Despite being inactive on social media and here, I’ve actually written a lot in the past year or two – recording streams of my consciousness and rants or just expressing raw emotions. And ever since reviving this blog, I’d only post the stuff that I felt was showcase-worthy, and by that I mean stuff that were high in rationality and low in touchy-feely, so the stuff posted here are only a very small, refine-cut fraction of my inner world that’s devoid of colors. Continue reading

Inconclusive ramblings at 4am + a mini-confession thing

There are a lot of mystifying terms being thrown around in spiritual circles, you can find them anywhere from inspirational pep talk, self-awareness counseling, self-help books to positive affirmation cults. I know, a lot of that live-your-highest-potential guidebooks out there has the odd habit of making very little sense to the average noob. Continue reading

Go Figure

A while ago I mentioned that it has become a new passion of mine to be able to give new definitions to archaic spiritual terminologies. What I meant by that was to elaborate various phenomenon such as past lives, heaven/nirvana, the soul and etc. etc. with more holistic, reliable and scientific explanations relying completely on the observable universal facts and nature. Continue reading

Death is Overrated

Since moving to New Zealand in the mid 90s, there was a seven year gap before I had the chance to visit my hometown again. Now, seven years isn’t a very long time for any other place, but for China, the changes that took place were on a colossal scale. The little Northern town comprised mostly of steel factories and fish farms had transformed into an uptown financial hub, complimented with fancy beaches, skyscrapers, chic restaurants along with a variety of tourist attractions that’s unique in the region. Continue reading

Soul Mates, oh wait…

The most recent piece of affirmation I’m experimenting with is the idea that ‘I am the only one in the world’. This statement is hard to fathom no doubt. I heard it more than a year ago from a video session of a particular renowned channel whose name I’ll omit. Most of the stuff he said was forgettable, all but except the time when someone in the audience asked him a question, to which he replied with “you are the only one in this room talking to yourself”, while the room was packed with a hundred other people. Continue reading

And the Purge Continues

There are a couple of things that I thought I had lost permanently due to awakening. For example, for almost two years, I have not experienced rage fits, hopeless despair and petty tantrums, so I thought it was safe to say that perhaps I no longer have the need to experience so-called ‘negative emotions’, or that there has been an upgrade to my capacity of controlling emotional outflow, or maybe I’ve just reached a point where I don’t lose my shit anymore. But regardless of the reasons, I was delighted with my newfound levelheadedness and calm demeanor. Continue reading

Final Thoughts?

It’s the morning of the 28th of May, 2016, in another four months’ time would mark two years since the awakening of the true self. This is the first time for me to actively record the date in a journal. I realized that since the end of April I’ve been gradually losing the ability of articulation. All forms of expression from writing, speaking to drawing, have become increasingly difficult, so I want to get everything that I’m feeling at the moment out there in case of the possibility of losing my voice completely. Continue reading